Hey, I'm guessing English isn't your first language? You've definitely got a decent piece, here, but the spelling and grammar make that a little harder to see.
I don't want to be rude, but I'm willing to give it a quick proofing, if you like -- just to fix a few of the things that really break the flow. Just let me know.
(And I like the idea that Kira is viewed as weak because he's not driven to prove himself at every opportunity, and does his job by the book. That's kind of a cool thought and it makes a lot of sense!)
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2008-09-26 03:51 pm (UTC)I don't want to be rude, but I'm willing to give it a quick proofing, if you like -- just to fix a few of the things that really break the flow. Just let me know.
(And I like the idea that Kira is viewed as weak because he's not driven to prove himself at every opportunity, and does his job by the book. That's kind of a cool thought and it makes a lot of sense!)